How to Deal With Narcissists at Work, When They Are Your Boss or Coworkers

Narcissists not only assert that they are the greatest, but also demand that they are deserving of the best.

A narcissistic boss often manages their team using the authoritarian management style, and narcissistic coworkers are often insufferable self-congratulators who see themselves far better than anyone else.

This means that when in the workplace, they’ll press everyone to treat them favorably, whether it’s by insisting meetings be planned according to their preferences or by insisting on having the largest office space.

At work, narcissists are often found in managerial positions or positions of power, because these individuals can be found tirelessly working to improve their careers, regardless of who they hurt on the way to the top of the corporate ladder.

Although you have no control over a narcissist’s actions, you do have power over how you react to them and prevent the spread of the toxic work culture.

Continue reading to learn more about the best ways how to deal with narcissists at work, including keeping your cool, establishing boundaries, ignoring any negative behavior, and more.

What is A Narcissist?

A narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is described as a mental disease in which persons have an exaggerated feeling of their significance and a profound need for admiration. 

This means people with narcissistic personality disorder exhibit little concern for other people’s feelings and a sense of superiority. However, this extreme confidence veneer conceals a weak sense of self that is easily damaged.

At work, narcissists are often found to be successful individuals holding a certain important role in the company:

• They can be charming, successful individuals who make a prominent impression on you right away.
• They frequently exude charisma, work tirelessly, are creative, and are able to spread their excitement to others.

In this sense, they may be excellent team members and employees who can get things done and motivate others to work hard.

However, in order to maintain their position, they will also manipulate, deceive, and gaslight without hesitation.

As a result, it is better to avoid them, than to attempt to challenge them since they lack empathy and adhere to different moral principles than the majority of people in the world.

How to Deal With a Narcissist at Work?

Narcissists are often difficult to deal with because they can be very manipulative, charming, and aggressive. A dangerous combination of personality traits makes them one of the most difficult coworkers to work with.

If you’re stuck working with a narcissist, there are some things you can do to try to make the situation more tolerable and learn how to deal with them in a way that will not make the situation worse.

1. Keeping Your Cool

Keeping your cool is, overall, one of the best strategies to employ when faced with a narcissist.

For example, by staying calm and showing the narcissist that you have control over your emotions and that, whatever how unreasonable they become, you will remain in control of your conduct and behave politely, they will be less inclined to bother you. 

How to keep your cool?

If you notice yourself losing your temper in the situation, try to take a step back or wait until you’ve calmed down before you answer.

Being calmer can help you think more clearly, which is essential for solving problems.

2. Establishing Boundaries

Another great way to deal with narcissists in the workplace is to establish some form of boundaries that can reduce the influence narcissists can have on you.

For instance, set boundaries for what you can put up with, whether that means limiting the length of time each person has to speak at a meeting or refusing to listen to their self-promotional speeches.

Take note, however, that you will need to be ready, for a narcissist to step over the line.

For example, they believe they are the exception to every rule, after all. As a result, when a boundary is crossed, you might need to implement a punishment to deter the narcissist from messing with you in the future.

3. Ignore Any Negative Behaviour

Another excellent course of action is often to ignore the annoying conduct of narcissists since they craved attention.

For example, when a narcissist exaggerates their accomplishments, the argument just serves to drag out the conversation about how amazing they are. 

By ignoring this behavior, you will not only save time and energy for other important tasks, but you will also learn that changing the subject or leaving could simply halt the narcissist in their tracks.

4. Don’t Take it Personally

Unfortunately, telling a narcissist that their actions have hurt your feelings won’t make them immediately change their behavior. After all, narcissist lack empathy, and therefore, won’t even comprehend your feelings, so, don’t take their words personally. 

If you are a high performer, you may also notice that you appear to be the narcissist’s primary target.

Take note that narcissist frequently targets those who outperform them at work or have a strong network of coworkers. This means anyone who is seen as “better” than the narcissist is hated by them. 

Remember that narcissists’ actions toward you are because of the intense insecurity they have. The narcissist is actually quite insecure, despite the fact that they give off the impression that they are the complete opposite. 

5. Keep Track and Document Any Offensive Behaviour

Unfortunately, narcissists frequently get away with harmful or immoral behavior because they often also do exceptionally well at work.

For example, when dealing with a manager or higher-up who you suspect has some narcissistic traits, try to request an email copy of any instructions you receive verbally at work.

Even if you don’t intend to take action right away when you see any suspicious conduct, it is essential that you document it. Having proof might be very helpful if a more significant problem occurs.

Why having documentation evidence of a narcissist is important?

Having proof of what the narcissist said and when they said it is the greatest defense. The narcissist’s directions can also be written down, and you can check your notes for correctness with them afterward. 

Also keep written records of interactions with the narcissist, including the date, time, details of what transpired, and as many verbatim statements as you can.

That way, if anything transpires in the future, you will have everything documented if you need to subsequently talk with management or an attorney.

6. Report Issues to Your Manager

It is also considered wise to discuss your worries with your manager if problems persist or if tension increases.

For example, when describing visible difficulties, try to remain neutral and consider noting any particular events. 

You might also need to speak with an HR representative from your organization if your supervisor doesn’t effectively address your issues or behaves unethically.

After all, you have rights at work as an employee, and you ought to be respected at all times. 

7. Keep Your Personal Life Personal

Keep it simple and businesslike when at work. This means not spreading gossip or telling people about your personal issues at work. 

It is also important to note that narcissists, for their own emotional or material benefit, can and will attempt to make friends with others. The workplace may be where this thinking is strongest. 

It is, therefore, recommended to try to avoid disclosing information about your family, friends, or personal hobbies.

Additionally, confirm that your social media privacy settings are on.

8. Avoid Contact With the Narcissist

Although difficult, this step is one of the most effective when dealing with a narcissist at work.

Refusing to play narcissists’ games, by avoiding them totally is one of the most effective ways to avoid succumbing to them.

However, depending on where you work, they may be in the cubicle right next to you.

If this is the case, take note that you have every right to request a new room or location on the same floor if the narcissist’s working style bothers you.

9. Be Assertive

If faced with a narcissist at work, another excellent course of action is often to assertively keep your position.

For example, even when a narcissist enters high conflict mode in order to preserve their self-respect and to be true to themselves, that doesn’t imply you should also copy the narcissist’s tactics and reply to attacks with more insults or make your own unpleasant arguments.

Being aggressive demonstrates that you also value yourself since you are willing to defend your interests and voice your opinions and feelings. It also displays that you are conscious of the rights of others and are prepared to work on conflict resolution.

10. Accept That Change Likely Won’t Happen

Finally, just accept that you do not waste your time or energy attempting to persuade a narcissist to change their behavior because they will not change their behavior in response to your criticism.

Recognize that they will occasionally boast and have faith that they will exploit others. This means that if you expect them to continue acting narcissistically, you’ll be less upset if they do.

How Do Narcissists Affect The Workplace?

Unfortunately, the future of an organization can be badly impacted by employees with narcissistic personalities. This is especially true if they have managerial, or executive positions.

For instance, those who work in settings that support narcissistic personnel frequently experience a sense of helplessness and exhaustion due to the fact that they don’t want to enrage their narcissistic coworkers or employers.

As a result, they are, therefore, also always on guard.

This creates a toxic organizational culture and produces a hostile work atmosphere that reduces morale.

Additionally, narcissists aren’t afraid to disobey the law or the regulations in order to acquire what they want.

Therefore, they’ll act unethically to get a promotion, recognition, bonus, or anything else that raises their profile. Additionally, they will exhort their staff members to behave similarly.

Read Also:

• How to Handle a Toxic Work Environment & Survive a Hostile Workplace
• 7 Types of Toxic Coworkers and How to Deal with Them at Work
• How to Deal With Narcissists at Work, When They Are Your Boss or Coworkers
• 10 Bad Boss Behaviors That Make 50% of Good Employees Quit Their Job
• 10 Effective Ways to Deal with Gossip at Work